The Osopher's Tale Page 4

  The sage

  During his eternal pursuit of wisom, phil never once pondered whether it was indeed wise to delve so intricately into all matters. He saw wisdom as wealth-generating and as social-standing.

  However, one, he encountered the quiet, content sage. Who had spent her life riding the flowing rollercoaster of life with a smile permanently etched on her face. And being indifferent to whatever happened around her, safe in her own mind.

  ‘’wisdom’’, she told phil, ‘’lies within, and is to understand your own mind; to trust your own intuitive judgement and to know that without action, the world will continue as it is.’’.

  As the sage turned to leave phil’s company, he noticed a tattoo on the back of her neck which read: 1. Enjoy. 2. Make sure that you do something memorable. 3. Travel as much as possible.

  The Martyr

  The martyr one day showed his face to Phil and asked him whether it was worthy, true and noble to die, as a sort-of sacrifice, for a cause that you believed in.

  The martyr, like The sage, was a product of Ann; both being necessities in the balanced Hutopia equation that could appear at any moment in any human.

  Phil would need to rationalise the question posed as to whether such an action would prove to be utilitarianistic, one for the general good.

  The martyr, however, was not for sitting and waiting for the verdict of the populous, especially with Demi being involved, but was a being of action and went through existence committing acts that had previously been pictured in his mind’s eye; the martyr knew that there was no greater good than the actions we ourselves carry out; no greater tribute to your life than after your death to have the fountains flowing red. Let it be said to all knights of the pen: The greatest revolutions in this world have never been directed by a plastic biro.

  Oh no, it is to people such as Thich Quang Duc who we owe our liberties. Yes, the martyr was there in Ho Chi Minh 1963, one of his most famous pictures in facts, to see about the removal of the corrupt government. 4 months after self-immalating, this occurred. People such as Charles Moore, Texas 2014, who died in protest at the treatment of gays by society and the church. Yes, the martyr was present once more, shining his light, standing out, so that others could see as he could see, giving them the opportunity to see the deathless nature of the ultimate.

  With the martyr recounting these tales of meaning, he could see that maybe finally Phil was understanding ‘the ultimate’, which was of course the ever-presentness of Ann in every single human, and so he decided to carry on along similar political lines:

  It is my conviction that, in general, aside from cases of unusual talent, a human should not engage in public political activity before their 30th year. They should not do so, because up to this time, as a rule, they are engaged in moulding a general platform, on the basis of which they proceed to examine the various political problems and finally establish their own position on them. Only after they have acquired such a basic philosophy, and the resultant firmness of outlook on the problems of the day, are they, inwardly at least, mature enough to be justified in partaking in political leadership of the general public. Added to this is my belief that you should not take a wife or start a family until you are at the very least satisfied with your contribution; they would be in the meantime folly and distracting. There are people dying needlessly in this world, and you want to be bothered about one specific girl? You would not believe, Phil, how many martyrs there may have been had they not had a change of heart for a loved one.

  What is required is a new philosophy, one to produce the inward power to fight the struggle to the end. If the struggle for such a philosophy is not lead by heroes prepared to make sacrifices, then there will, in a short space of time, cease to be any warriors willing to die. The human who is fighting for their own existence cannot have much leftover for the community. In order to maintain this requirement, everybody must know that any new movement can offer nothing in the present, but honour and fame in posterity.

  Like a play, we feel as though we’ve come into life at the start of the second act; everything is pretty but we don’t understand things. The actors move and speak out. No one knows for what reason. Oft-times we project our own ignorance onto others; doing things in the meantime to take away the bad taste of confusion and emptiness. This craving for knowledge about our relation to the world shows us that we cannot always accept what we experience and intercept through our senses. This is when we turn to thinking; just because you can see all of the pieces on a chess-board does not mean that you are going to win – you cannot see what your opponent is thinking.

  Our introduction to life, through fizz, makes of phil, of us, merely a natural being; society and demi make of him, us, a law-abiding being. Only he, we, can apply the touch of freedom.

  Fizz released phil from her fetters at a definitive stage in his development, demi carried this on stage further; only phil himself could apply the final polish to his take on life.

  Phil Osopher

  the wisdom of knowledge

  si

  A Jamaican man walked into a pub and asked for a can of beer (Beer can). The bartender said ‘Sorry mate, this pub’s Halal’.

  This is not a true story, it is fake; that’s how all jokes are told.

  For si, the true beauty of life lay in the pureness of a slate roof that HAD BEEN CONSTRUCTED WITH HARD WORK, AND WAS NOW HOME TO SOME DOVES, WHO WOULD LEAVE AND RETURN, NATURALLY SHITTING ON THE HEADS OF LADIES WHO WOULD GO WILD IN RAGE. THERE WAS NOTHING FAKE IN THIS, IT WAS HONEST AND REAL.

  IT WASN’T THAT Si wanted to be fake, it was just that Demi had found so many darned uses for him. Ann had originally intended for Si’s presence in Hutopia to be a learning towards the risk of yawning; that tune of idleness, the classic song of a layabout. Fake was originally supposed to be avoided; true effort and true conscience was what every human was supposed to transmit into the world. But Demi, she like shortcuts; and so Si became ever more prevalent on planet Aqua, covering key areas such as food, education, love and politics.

  The food aspect of Si’s presence and personality is pretty straightforward. He’s in every McDonald’s that you’ve ever eaten, any footlong sub that you’ve bitten into, and he’s around anytime you turn that microwave dial to heat up your ready meals. Any company, PepsiCo & Doritos for sure, using GM crops to make crisps and other snacks; yes these are not real and wholly repulse Fizz, Gaz and Gee.

  Perhaps the only surprise in the food list is a serious case of doublethink. When a company refers to something as ‘organic’, this instantly hikes up the price. Take D&G Bio for example, in Amsterdam; Si was charged €14 for 2 macaroons, a muffin and a cookie! Such companies should at least have in-store videos detailing the products’ route to market; otherwise the authenticity of the price and organic nature of the product is up for debate.

  In the past 150 years, most things have changed to the tune of globalisation, industrialisation and technology; but not the education system, sitting people in rows instead of circles, forbidding any answering back. Demi likes the framework and organisation of it all, but during these adolescent years when wonder and creativity flourish, perhaps we out to let people find their own way a little more. Those who are destined by fizz to become her disciples hardly need teachers. The first obstacles that we encounter teach us directly how to apply ourselves and move forward. We see something, a percept, and then apply to it our own, new, individualised mental concept.

  Society’s rules and dogmas regarding manners are often fake and superfluous. ‘Why does it matter if I have my feet up?’ asks Si, when he is told off for doing so near someone who is eating, though not the eating person themself, who in actual fact did not care or even notice. Yes, if asked then take them down, but if humans act only to certain moral standards, then their action is the outcome of the principles which compose their moral code. They merely carry out orders and are nothing but a superior automaton. Also, saying excessive please and thankyous t
akes away their special meaning and their gratuity is often fake. Only say please to a stranger, and thankyou when you truly mean it, when your body goes all warm inside because of the help and kindness that you have received.

  Born in Liverpool; made in hamburg. That’s what john lennon once said, and the same is true for si, well not the Liverpool bit, and you can add Amsterdam and Poland on to hamburg. Yes, folks, it’s sad, but we have fake, purchased love, epitomising the cold heart of business. Perhaps you’ll pay for mystic martha, with her small dog that barks a lot and her notorious b.i.g. sex playlist, but her orgasm andmoans will be fake. So, too, will the groans of kim and her ceo pimp, forcing you to pay €250 and then they never smile once and even shout at you! Yes, it seems that we don’t quite get what we either expect or pay for. Added to the examples above, we have the phony discounts in supermarkets, who claim that certain items are on sale, but if you read the small print, then sometimes the saving is less than 20p! for fake customer relations, google the case of Christopher seddon, who had to spend £9,600 on court costs to prove that his arrest in waitrose for shop lifting was a case of mistaken identity, yet no one was forthcoming in accepting the responsibility for this nightmare.

  Si made his name on planet Aqua in sun-shy western countries where fake tan is a common part of getting ready for a weekend night-out. And it is in these countries, too, where fake democracy is rife. Getting to vote every 5 years doesn’t mean that you’re free or democratic.

  A civilisation in its truest sense means that there is food and literature all around; we are currently lacking in both; though Gaz is in abundance, he is not cut up and distributed correctly or proportionately. For this, we blame Demi, for bringing us fake democracy, and with it, politicians.

  Politicians; in other words, the kind of human whose only real conviction is a lack of conviction, combined with offensive, degrading insults and an art of lying. They are often developed to the point of complete shamelessness. We may as well realise at once that the essence of their politics will consist in nothing but a heroic struggle for the permanent possession of the feeding-bottle for themselves and their family. The more that they depend on it, then the more tenaciously they will fight for their mandate. This alone will make every other human with political instincts their personal enemy; in every new movement they will scent the possible beginning of their end, and in every human of any greatness they see a menacing danger.

  These fake, excessive people, with generations of wealth and nepotistic connections. Sick are they always. They vomit and call it newspapers. Fake news, never to the point or wholly truthful. They devour one another and cannot even digest themselves. Fake friendship. Wealth they acquire and become poorer thereby. Fake pleasure. Power they seek for. Above all, the lever for power – money. See these nimble apes clamber, over one another and back again, scuffling into the mud and abyss. Possessed by madness, they strive towards the throne, the top. As if happiness could be found there!

  As we have seen, being si is a constant, epic struggle against the Fizz and Demi that surround us and the truth that ann placed inside every single one of us.

 

  Si Losopher

  The wisdom of fakeness

  Gee

  Once, blasphemy against god was the greatest blasphemy, but god died and also therewith all those blasphemers. To blaspheme the earth is now the most dreadfulest sin, and to rate the heart of the unknowable higher than the meaning of the earth.

  Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet, and the winds long to play with your hair.

  We mortals are but shadows and dust; both trees and inorganic beings last longer than we do. They are made to stay put, they are immobile, yet they make everything move around them. Gee was the most permanent of ann’s 11, encompassing all that was contained within planet aqua/hutopia.

  Humans built the great wall of china, and the western wall in Jerusalem. See gee’s great walls: the Himalayas, the rockies, the andies, the alps. Much more magnificent, many more contours.

  Gee was stood outside smoking her morning spliff, the wake and bake – the original name for cannabis was cannabliss. This explains the smoke, the ‘fog’, that you see hovering above the ground some mornings. Like the vague torsos of fabulous athletes, huge fleshy clouds lolled on the blue air above her head. Strangely enough, both gee and demi liked smoking; it is sociable – you go outside, someone asks for a cigarette and you get talking. Tobacco is grown by gee, so is cannabis, and then inhaled by demi. Gee loves this.

  Today was actually an inspection day for Gee; she was going 200m underground to check on her salt mine in Wieliczka near Krakow, Poland. She was due to check for any grey salt which contains impurities like claystone – though this was only occurring because of how fussy Demi had become; in the past it used to be eaten without purifying.

  To demi, rock is just something that she sees but seldom analyses. To gee, rock is so much more than that.

  Take this salt mine as an example. The 2400 chambers give a livelihood to 400 miners and 500 tour guides. Once salt was so expensive that it was used as a substitute for money; nowadays it is so commonly perishable that gaz can discard it all over his curly fries.

  Once known as white gold (gold is a sign of greed, salt is a sign of loyalty of friendship), salt is able to preserve wood, food and kill bacteria.

  Standing underneath the salt-crystal chandelier in the centre of the mine, which was a real monument of human hard work, gee giggled a little as she found it funny how Demi was so often impressed with some of gee’s simplest works; like a magpie drawn to a glistening object.

  The other reason the Gee visited today was to take in huge gulps of the healing air located at this level. Since the industrial revolution, gee had a slight case of asthma, with demi having extensively burned the majority of gee’s oil supply.

  Saying this, there are a few scattered examples of gee and demi combining to produce mini hutpoias. A literally scattered example of this is the isles of scilly. Here, gee raised an ideally sized landmass out of the ocean, on which demi could strive and challenge herself to establish a home there. The relaxed nature of life on these islands shows that demi subsequently thrived in this task.

  One hard-to-escape-from link between Gee, Fizz, Gaz and Ann is the way that the food Gee brings forth from the ground mimics the appearance of human anatomy, and also even assists the part that it resembles. Take a carrot. Slice it into a circle and you will see an iris/pupil. Everyone tells you that carrots help you see in the dark. This same theory can be applied to walnuts, see brain; silicon-rich celery, see bones; sweet potato and the pancreas; mushroom and ears; ginger and stomach. The true scale of this is quite extensive. But when you consider that it takes place within the symbiotic atmosphere of planet Aqua, then it is hardly surprising that Hutopia functions this way.

  In this symbiotic atmosphere, maintained by gee, the building blocks needed for anything to grow are an ever present. When you burn wood, it enters into the atmosphere, floating about in singular, molecular form. How does a small tree acquire the material to grow so big? It is because when something dies and decomposes, these specific, singular entities, which can only bond to a reciprocal entity, are floating around until they encounter something that they can bond with. In this way, a baby can grow into a full-bodied adult.

  Gee endeared herself to Ann through her unwavering commitment to sacrifice. Gee understood that sacrifice is not necessarily a negative, and then when you give something up, it is possible for something much greater to be produced at the other end of the chain. Gee sacrifices trees for paper and subsequently some amazing works of inspiring literature. Gee sacrifices the water collected at the mountain top, allowing it to flow naturally downwards, to be used for drinking along the way and then bathing when it reaches the sea. Gee sacrifices her wholeness in the form of quarries, allowing herself to be broken up and rebuilt as breath-taking architecture.

  The golden joint

&nb
sp; Gee’s most memorable moment and memory was the time that she ascended the Austrian alps with her friends connor and annie and at the highest peak proceeded to smoke a cannabis blunt wrapped up in a 24k white gold-leaf paper.

  It was a misty morning in schwedau, near mayerhofen, and gee was present visiting connor and annie, who she’s met on the isles of scilly when carrying out an inspection there. Gee had made it misty as she wanted the slopes to be cut off from the distraction of the rabble below.

  As they travelled upwards in the gondola, heading towards the peak known as ‘finken’, they broke through the cloud and entered a world of their own. Of all of gee’s creations, she loved mountains the most.

  After a couple of snowboards down the fresh slopes, this was the first day of the season of course, gee, connor and annie unclipped from their boards and sat on the chairlift taking them to the peak, to the bemusement of onlookers who were wondering why they were heading up without their boards. Well, for a golden joint of course!

  Gee had chosen connor and annie to share this moment with her, and it had been 2 months in the planning. First, gee had to ensure the quality of the gold-leaf being mined in south Africa, and then the thc percentage of the weed in Amsterdam, before finally setting events in motion that would result in connor being offered a job that very morning. gee wanted to ensure that her companions were in the best mood possible.

  The ceremonial spark took place as the 3 of the sat atop finken and stared out towards hintertuck. From this vantage point, gee was able to marvel at all that she’d accomplished. Gee laughed, AS demi saw mountains as being stationary, but the earth was in fact alive and each range was striving to be taller than the other. Gee also laughed at another of demi’s fallacies. Up here, it was blatantly obvious to gee that her earth that made up planet aqua was a flat entity and not the sphere that demi assumed. It certainly wasn’t spinning at 900mph either! Being able to see so far into the distance without encountering curvature proved this misconception. Imagine a cd. On this flat plain, gaz had positioned the north pole as the hole in the middle and the barrier to prevent escape was the south pole that mimics the rim of the disc.